Stress is all around us everyday – at our job, through the interaction with others, dealing with our loved ones, no matter how much we love them, with loss, with gain – stress is everywhere and it surrounds us.
Stress is positive as it motivates us to accomplish our tasks and to be, therefore, productive. Stress, if one allows, can also be destructive – left unchecked and unmanaged, it can insidiously cause physiological problems, it can provide an excuse to violate one’s core beliefs, and it can manifest itself in undesirable behavior.
How do we manage this stress beasty and become its master? First, we welcome it – remember it can be a great motivator. Then we manage it. Ah, well that is the trick, isn’t it? As a suggestion, here is a three-pronged management plan:
1. The Proactive Positive Plan of Action. Develop a proactive positive plan of action (ppp, for those who like acronyms) of converting the negative stress into positive stress. We begin with the idea that stress is just energy. When stress that can be easily converted into negative energy comes your way, have a proactive positive plan of action on board to convert it into positive energy. Here are some examples: when you feel stressed, have a pre-programmed plan to walk around the block and admire nature; or hit the gym; or call a friend who you know will soothe your stressed spirit; play with your puppy dog; stroke your child’s head and say how grateful you are for your child’s life. The point here is to choose the PPP ahead of time before the stress hits, so that you have a “positive place” to take the stress when it comes. This also helps to rewire old habits and negative response patterns to stress. As an example, if you turn to food when you feel stress, you can replace that negative energy/habit with a PPP. But keep in mind that this will take time, so be patient, diligent, committed to your new PPP.
2. The Daily Journal of Gratefulness. At the beginning and the end of the day, have a journal by your bed and write in the journal one thing that you are grateful for – and I mean one thing. This is not to add stress to your life so I do not want to suggest that this should be a huge commitment. Have a journal dedicated only to this idea. If you miss a day, oh well – there is no guilt associated with missing a day. But commit to its overall principle and goal.
3. The Positive Affirmations from Your Core Command Center. I am a firm believer that the stress that is converted to negative stress is linked to low self-esteem. people who love themselves, are proud of themselves, feel like they have value have a tendency to intuitively convert that stress into positive results and already have in place positive outlets for that energy. People with low self-esteem have a tendency to have a whole host of rationalizing techniques to “allow” themselves to engage in negative behavior. This suggestion to manage stress is a process – first, build your core beliefs – what and who you are as derived from your basic beliefs that command your life. In other words, what do you stand for in life. You can call it, if you like, your core command center (CCC). Examples of this are: I believe in honesty – I am committed to being an honest person; and I believe in loyalty – I am committed to being a loyal person to my family and friends. Develop and determine your core command center – write it down, keep adding to it, and keep it with you. Keep it in your wallet, your purse, but keep it on your person. It is in “development” as it takes awhile to get in touch with the CCC and “download” that information – but its there. You think it would be easy but it takes both conscious and subconscious thought. When you become aware of your core command center, then it is time to create daily positive affirmations from your CCC. Pick three positive affirmations (and you can change them around – but three is good number) and post them where you can see them – like your mirror in your bathroom or in your car and repeat them often through the day. Examples of positive affirmations are: I am a beautiful person; I am full of love; I have infinite value; I have abundant positive energy . . . and so on. By determining your core beliefs, and then crafting positive affirmations from those core beliefs, you can help yourself rewire your set negative responses to stress and provide a foundation for a positive approach to stress.
Bettina Altizer- Attorney at Law
Altizer and Altizer
324 Washington Avenue
Roanoke, Virginia, 24016
540-345-2000
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